i remember who i became

i realize how i became

through the Name

been awhile without the pain

of utter confusion accumulated

from the compilation of fear

and maybe rejection

i have pack-ratted throughout my life

i thought i broke out of the stronghold of lies

i thought i'd accepted who You said i am

thought i had realized

that Satan lies only to corrupt my mind

Father my insides are disturbed

my eyes, they burn

i want to hide away from life

how could i?

how could i allow myself to slip into this?

again! please Lord, not again!

my heart bangs

anxiety slowly consumes me

i want to feel accepted, included

but why?

why do i feel that i am not enough?

why is my past beginning to rise, trying to revive?

die, past, die!

this is my life

for which Jesus died

so how can I feel this way?

as if i don't belong

when it's obvious i do

obvious i have a plan

obvious God always helps me to stand

the lifter of my head

the God that knows my plan

i placed my life into His hands

but now i feel as though i'm sinking in quicksand

fast pace of life

sucking me in

and causing me to dwell in the insignificant realms  of this world

but i know the truth and i am learning His word

i will not sink, i will not swerve

i will not sway no matter how i feel

i must always believe that my God is real

He is full of strength, joy, and peace

so why in the world am i losing sleep, losing heart

i am too live by the kingdom of my God

i have no choice but to come out in victory

because I am what God thinks of me